Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize