I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
