She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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