Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
