I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
