brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize