i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
