i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
