Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
How does one acquire holy water?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
