If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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