There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
