hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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