My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
