at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
