ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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