I wish life had little blips of pornography
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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