I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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