so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
