Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
