Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I look better un-naked...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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