She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i was born a porn star she said
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
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