u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
