he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
