We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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