he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
How does it feel to date your dad?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
