11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
