Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
