I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I supernannyed him into submission
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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