Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
