worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
