I wish I could punch you in the face.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
