The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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