she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
