whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
