Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
he had hair everywhere except his balls
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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