yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
