so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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