Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize