she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
