Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
