she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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