Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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