grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
These tits shall not be calmed
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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