I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
