didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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