I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
