Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
