in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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