so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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