Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
