btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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