I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
