He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
