Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
