At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
