office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
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