Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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