no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Dear god my vagina.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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